Over the years of my blogging, I never truly blogged about any of my insecurities. This is most likely due to my stalker issue that seemed to have stopped once I cut out the comments from my blog. This post was actually inspired from my friend Lysianthus‘ recent post about qualities she wished she had but didn’t.
Even though this is my second post for my blog, I feel that it’s about time I address something that’s been haunting my thoughts for at least a decade in regards to some of my insecurities online. The reason(s) as to why I’ve never address this issue in the past is simply due to the negative feedback I have received from other bloggers that I used to call friends. I allowed their negative thoughts to affect me in certain ways that it made me fearful of actually wanting to write about my insecurities of certain things I have online, until now that is.
It’s the end of the year 2017, and I feel that it’s about time I stop being afraid of what I can or can’t do online due to certain people monitoring my activities. After all, I am a grown up blogger who has been blogging for over a decade, and I shouldn’t allow the negativity of these other bloggers to affect me or stop me from what I could be doing online.
When I began blogging in the year 1998, I among other bloggers, included free content for others to download. I did this as a way to give back to the community that has given me so much. In time, I started to doubt myself as I thought my skills weren’t that great and thought who on Earth would actually download anything I have to offer? Thus leading me to stop putting content on my blog for others to download. After having this doubt of whether or not people would actually download my content, other things started happening to me i.e. people accusing me of stealing this and that, when I haven’t stolen anything, and if I stole something it was a snippet of code to LEARN FROM as that’s what other bloggers did to better themselves. After developing this insecurity, I literally stopped providing free content to others and haven’t for years due to these false accusations.
Despite having this insecurity about others thinking that I steal things, which is far from the truth, I need to actually give back to community that has provided me with so many wonderful tutorials and other things to make my websites happen. I also need to actually stop allowing these negative thoughts from others who used to be friends or even acquaintances and just ignore them. I feel that because of these false accusations and self doubt, I developed that insecurity of believing that people wouldn’t download anything of mine and if they did, they’d most likely use it against me. I really need to stop thinking that way and just provide back to the community as I’ve already stated. Even though my activities might be monitored by a select few individuals who despise me and have written false statements about me via their blogs, I just need to get over their negative thoughts and give back to the community, even if no one downloads anything or uses anything of mine. If I do this, at least then I can overcome any obstacle thrown my way.